Dirty filthy food that’ll do you no good
A list of some burger, pizza and other ‘fast food’ joints likely to clog up your arteries that I’ve been to and rate. I’ll keep adding to this and updating it, so make sure to check back for the latest juice.
VIEW MAP
BURGERS & SLIDERS
BOOM BURGER
Jerk Burgers | Ladbroke Gr. | £
I hate being one of those dicks that says “Oh, it’s not as good as it used to be” but that’s the truth. However, the jerk burger stuffed with plantain is still pretty damn tasty and worth a look in. The staff are way chill and the is vibe always on point at this no frills, Jamaican inspired, TINY burger spot in Portobello. No reservations.
EDū
Spanish Burgers | London Bridge | £
EDū describes itself as a ‘contemporary Spanish food concept with influences from other world cuisines where most of the core ingredients originate from Spain’ – I had the ‘Spanglish Burger’ – aged Galician & angus beef, piquillo mayo, cheddar, tomato, lettuce and pickle, served in a brioche bun – the beef flavour is full and intense and just pretty delicious. We obviously had to order the ‘Sweet Potato Patatas Bravas Fries’ AND the ‘Tempura Padron Peppers’ too – both v. good indeed. No reservations.
HONEST BURGER
Burgers | Various Locations | £
Decent burger chain. I went recently to the one in Old Street and had the beef burger with red onion, relish and stilton which really hit the spot. Not a huge fan of their rosemary salted chips (too salty) but when they come as part of the burger price, in this case £9, I ain’t gonna turn ’em away. No reservations.
LE BUN
French Burgers | Pop-Up | £
The pulled confit duck burger is melt in your mouth delicious. You’d think the combination of béarnaise sauce, duck sauce and champagne slaw would be a bit too rich but it’s perfectly balanced and the crispiness of the straw frites against the soft yet taut bun is great. Follow them on social media for updates. No reservations.
MEAT LIQUOR
Burgers | Various Locations | £
Sloppy but damn tasty chicken burgers can be found at this group of ‘Meat’ restaurants which are spread across town. I’ve only ever been to the Marylebone one which has a very dark setting, probs for the best considering all the mess you’ll be making. Reservations for groups of 6+ people only.
PATTY & BUN
Burgers | Various Locations | £
Good chain serving up noiccceeee chicken and beef burgers. I only fully recommend the one in Bond Street though but there’s always a queue; the one in Liverpool street is TINY, fine if you don’t mind a quick pit stop but not great if you want to linger a bit longer. I haven’t been to the others, so can’t really comment. No reservations.
SLIDER BAR
Sliders | Shoreditch | £
Oh my days the beef jalapeños sliders are bare tasty – perfectly cooked and just brimming with flavour. They do full size burgers too if teeny weeny burgers ain’t your thing – their fried chicken burger is mad delicious. Love Love Love. Can be found at Dinerama in Shoreditch (part of the Street Feast collective). No reservations.
WHITE MEN CAN’T JERK
Caribbean | Pop-Up | £
Caribbean inspired street food – their jerk chicken burger with a whole scotch bonnet really is off the chain. Currently they are located at The Magic Roundabout in Old Street Wed-Sat and Street Feast London Fri & Sat but follow them on Twitter to keep posted on their whereabouts. No reservations.
YEAH BURGERS
Burgers | Pop-Up | £
Oh my days, the cheeseburger I had at Yeah Burgers (aged beef patty, gherkins, american cheese, ketchup, mustard) was OFF DA CHAIN. Like really truly. I went to Star of Hackney down for a friend’s birthday and was being snooty about the food offering and I hadn’t heard about Yeah Burger before, so didn’t want to take a gamble with this food residency at the pub. Calories, after all, ya know. Hunger got the better of me, so I bit the bullet and ordered one and boy I am glad I did. Succulent tasty beef in between a lovely brioche bun – I dug it. I really dug it.
BURRITOS & TACOS
BENITO’S HAT
Burritos | Various Locations | £
I am loyal to Benito’s Hat because I used to go to it almost every Friday when I worked in the Soho area, so by default, to this day I would pick this spot over many other burrito joints just because it’s like a familiar friend + they do the wraps nice and tight – no soggy shit. No reservations.
BREDDOS TACOS
Tacos | Clerkenwell | £
The fish taco is decent but the real star is the fried chicken one – hollar! They are pretty little colourful things and luckily taste as good as they look. I was a frequent visitor at their pop up stall in Dinerama. They recently opened a brick and mortar store in Clerkenwell with a broader menu which I’m keen to try. No reservations.
CHILANGO
Burritos | Various Locations | £
‘Mexican’ fast food chain. Pretty good burritos. I’ve been to a couple of the different branches and the standard has been consistent. Their salad bowl with rice is a solid alternative to their wrapped up big sister (the burrito). When you ask for hot sauce – it’s actually spicy which is always a bonus. No reservations.
CORAZON
Tacos | Soho| £
Tacos are the order of the day at this retro cool taqueria in Soho. It’s a casual relaxed spot, good for a fairly inexpensive night our with some pals or your lover man / woman (3rd date kinda spot). Had the Baja fish – beer battered fish, red and white shredded cabbage with chipotle mayo and also ordered the GUV’NOR king prawns & baby shrimps grilled with mixed peppers, tomatoes & onions;garlic, butter, cream & oaxacan cheese. Both were decent. I’d go back if in the neighbourhood.
MOLE TACO BAR
Tacos | Bond Street | £
I was on Oxford St and famished, so I stopped by Mole which serves up tacos and a few other Mexican bites. I really enjoyed the beef shortrib tacos I had but at £8 for two tiny tacos, it’s not the cheapest. It’s a fun looking space – interesting combo of colours and textures. I’d definitely go back if in the area and would also like to try the cocktails but it’s not a place I’d actively seek out. Walk Ins & Reservations
EL PASTOR
Tacos | London Bridge | £
El Pastor has had much hype probs because it’s by the guys who brought us the enduringly popular Barrafina. It’s a cool space – a converted railway arch with pops of colour via the table tops & woven chairs. There’s a fun outdoorsy vibe about it. I got the prawn taco (£3.50) & char-grilled stonebass taco (£3) – the ingredients were fresh and I particularly enjoyed the pineapple salsa that came with the stonebass taco. A great place to go with a group of friends but they don’t take reservations…
PIZZAS
CRATE BREWERY
Crispy Pizzas | Hackney | £
Have tried most of their thin crust crispy pizzas which are all pretty rad and somewhat off beat, toppings wise. A bit out of the way in Hackney Wick, if you don’t live in those endz. Pretty woeful service & horribly crowded in the summer but if you are after a casual drinking spot that serves nice pizzas, this is the place for you. No reservations.
FRANCO MANCA
Pizzas | Various Locations | £
Right, so I haven’t actually eating in at a Franco Manca but I’ve had takeaway from here and enjoyed it. I remember when there were one or two spots but now it’s a full blown chain, serving up sourdough Neapolitan pizzas. I’ve walked past Franco Manca many times and they’re always busy, so must be doing summat right. Walk ins + reservations.
HOMESLICE
20″ Pizzas | x3 Locations | £
Tasty Neapolitan style pizzas. WARNING, they are super sloppy. Served by the slice or opt for the 20″ pizzas. A few classics on the menu but it’s mostly seasonal interesting options like aubergine, cauliflower cheese, spinach & harissa. The house prosecco at a fiver is drinkable. Branches in Covent G, Fitzrovia & Old St. Mostly walk in but accept some reservations.
IL BACIO
Pizza | Stoke Newington | £
Tasty thin crust crispy pizzas served in a modest setting in Stoke Newington. What it lacks in fanciness, it makes up in portion sizes which is all good with me. I wouldn’t go out of my way to visit here but if in the area and in the mood for some Italian carb action, I would deffo come back here. Walk ins + reservations.
PIZZA PILGRIM
Pizzas | Various Locations | £
Shopping in Carnaby and absolutely famished, I popped into Pizza Pilgrim. It’s a basic space and intentionally so (they started life as a street food truck after all). The dudes behind this have had quite a bit of hype over the last few years and deservedly so. Super friendly service + tasty Neapolitan pizzas = simple winning formula. No reservations except Dean St branch (8+ people)
SODO PIZZA CAFE
Pizzas | x3 Locations | £
I came across Sodo Pizza Cafe and I mentioned it to one of my good friends who lives in Clapton and she was shocked that I’d never heard of it and more worryingly that I hadn’t tried it; she remedied this swiftly and made a reservation for us. They have branches in Walthamstow, Hoxton and Clapton (the original). The Clapton branch we went to was so cozy and one of the best spots I’ve been to recently for the ambience, super chilled and just a cool bitesize spot. I ordered a goat’s cheese pizza which was very good. Sodo is now firmly on my London pizza map.
VODOO RAYS
Pizzas | x4 Locations | £
They do pizzas by the slice, NY style, wahey! If you’re the greedy sort, it’s perfect coz you can sample 2/3 different pizzas. I was starving on the way back from a talk one Wed eve and walked past Box Park in Shoreditch, where they have a pop up store. It was party vibes all night in there, staff were friendly and a little bit out there but not in annoying over the top way. I opted for the margarita which I had no complaints about. I’d def go back. Incidentally they’ve got a bar – Ray’s Bar in Dalston and you can get your pizza upstairs and take it to the basement to munch away with your cocktails. Boom.
YARD SALE PIZZA
Pizzas | x3 Locations | £
Yard Sale Pizzas are all kinds of buff. Stone baked awesomness. The ‘TSB’ (tender stem broccoli, manchego, pine nuts, garlic & olive oil) is way tasty – def order that one. They started off life in Clapton and have since added Walthamstow and Finsbury Park to the familia. I’ve only ever been to the latter and the staff there are SOOOO nice – they even let me park my bike indoors, so extra brownie points; the spot itself has a cool aesthetic and is generally just super chill. Big fan.
THE OTHERS
BAO
Steamed Buns | x2 Locations | ££
Style and substance at play at this much hyped Taiwanese small plates joint. Only been to the one on Lexington St but they have a Sat pop up at Netil Market and opened up another permanent spot in Fitzrovia. The fried chicken bao is criminally delicious, order several. Reservations available at Fitzrovia branch (downstairs only).
CHICK ‘N’ SOURS
Fried Chicken| x2 Locations | £
TBH, I wasn’t mad about the fried chicken I ate here but the sour cocktail I had was way delicious. Willing to give it another go as it’s quite a handsome little spot. Located on Kingsland Road. Recently opened up a new spot in Covent Garden. Reservations available at CG and large groups only at Haggerston except Fri + Sat night.
ON THE BAB
Korean | 3+ Locations | £
Korean street food joint. Have been to the one near St. Paul’s and had the fried chicken steamed bun slathered with sweet chilli sauce and shredded cabbage which was very sloppy but rather tasty. You can eat in and there are a couple of spots across town. No reservations.
SPUNTINO
American / Italian | Soho | ££
Not the most amazing nosh but it’s got a cool vibe and their truffle cheese toast with a fried egg embedded is hella naughty. I’ve only ever been in the evening and would only ever go then, as it’s dark, moody and that’s what contributes to the vibe. Best to go in a pair rather than a group (there are only 27 seats). No reservations.
UMUT 2000 OCAKBASI RESTAURANT
Turkish | Dalston | £
Turkish ‘restaurant’ in Dalston serving up the most amazing wraps. When I went here, I opted for the chicken shish wrap which was huge, bursting with flavour and just 6 quid, what more could you ask for? I can’t comment on the wider offering but if the wrap is anything to go by, your mouth will be delighted. No reservations.
Key
MEAL + A BEVVY
[£] £25 AND UNDER
[££] £25-35
[£££] £36-45
[££££] £46-55
[£££££] £56 AND OVER
Map
To find the closest ‘dirty food’ to you on my map whilst you are out and about:
+ Simply click the extend button on the top right hand corner of the map
+ This will take you into Google Maps where your location will be pinpointed
+ Click on a pin that is close to you, the name of the eatery will appear in the bottom band
+ Then, click on the walking man icon
+ This will then show you the route to get there and approx travel time
NOTE: Even though, I have included all the branches of chains I’ve profiled, I obviously haven’t been to all, so can’t verify if standards vary radically – let’s hope not, eh?
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